He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
