Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
