Your tits are I can't wait for
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
