Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
