Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
