If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
