why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
