It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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