well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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