his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
