The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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