tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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