I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
