..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This house was built for laser tag.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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