is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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