The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
