apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
