I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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