Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
