idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
