I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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