You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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