based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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