What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
