Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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