So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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