If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
