ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
