Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
