Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
