SEEEEXXX PLEASE
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
