It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
