obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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