I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
