Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
tell me about the eggs
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