i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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