Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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