it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
