U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
