I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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