so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
