Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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