Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
