So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm both gender and math confused
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
