Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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