I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
