it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
