It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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