Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
