No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
