I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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