OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
