Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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