i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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