shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
