operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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