i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
