Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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