that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
