You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
