You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
